Loreto...life..and after life..

“Our minds are finite, and yet even in these circumstances of finitude, we are surrounded by possibilities that are infinite, and the purpose of life is to grasp as much as we can out of infinitude.”
- Alfred North Whitehead


Loreto for me has not just been an institution – it has been my home ever since I first entered those enormous green gates on 18th June, 1990 as an unsure albeit eager 5-year old Kindergartener, wondering why 45 other kids were dressed in the same clothes as me! Loreto, ultimately, becomes a way of life.

School life was not a bed of roses. We would crib every single day about how strict an all-girls convent school was and devise ingenious ways to improve the school if given a say. We wanted to be as grown up as our seniors but when we did reach where they were, we demanded a return to innocence. Alas, as has often been said, all good things must come to an end, and so did school. However, Loreto continued to be a part of my life for another three years, as I chose to study English in one of the best colleges in the city. Honestly, I have often asked myself whether I chose to stay there because of the college or because I couldn’t let go and surprisingly (or not!) I still don’t know which factor was more important!

In more ways than one I am delighted to be graduating but I am going to miss so much about my Alma Mater - the unacknowledged cause for so many of our losses and gains, joys and sorrows, triumphs and defeats. Apart from age-old traditions and important values being embedded in us to make us perfect ladies, it was here that I learnt that numbers weren’t my forte and playing with words was a far easier option. It was here that I discovered friendship and all the emotional baggage it brought with it. It was here that I mastered the art of sleeping with my eyes wide open. It was here that I learnt the value of time (on the rare occasions that we were granted an extra fifteen-minute breather for “break”!) and most importantly, it was here that I found myself.

College too taught me to grow up and cross innumerable hurdles and I am grateful for that. Although, I am not going to miss dragging myself to 8:30 a.m. classes, what I am going to miss is not being able to see my friends everyday (they kept me going on the worst of days!)…my department and my wonderful teachers...all the insanity…all the hustle bustle…. I am going to miss being branded the "rebels-without-a-cause”, the innumerable hours of raving and ranting in Café Coffee Day, the last minute frantic calls before exams… and much more than I could ever hope to put into words.

It’s a scary thought...that soon we're going to be in different places doing different things....yet somewhere deep within...together forever...

Today as we stand on the threshold of a new world, which lies beyond the boundaries of those cream coloured walls and mammoth green gates, we stand as beautiful, intelligent, strong, confident, educated women. Our follies of yesteryear have helped us become models of perfection in our own ways. Today we feel a sense of completion, a sense of certainty and assurance that we will be able to embark upon any journey life has to offer.

Yet there is a constant impending doom hovering over me – the reality of graduation – the reality of going out into the big bad world. When school finished we thought nothing could be bigger and college would give us a taste of "real life" but naaahh..... we were so wrong....NOW is crunch time. Somehow, after a certain point, life seems to be defined by the eternal and inevitable "What next?” followed by a period of total inability to answer the question. Yes somehow things have managed to work themselves out thus far but what lies ahead?

So…mixed with the sadness of leaving what has been life for the past sixteen years is also the happiness of taking a step ahead. Blended within the insecurity about tomorrow is a confidence in myself. Merged with the inability to make a decision about the future is the jubilance over past achievements. And through these myriad emotions and kaleidoscopic memories....there is a desire to excel again...no matter where I am.

I quote William Blake,
“To see the world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower,
To hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour.”

I have bid farewell to my second home and all the wonderful people in it and my mind can’t help but feel a touch of déjà vu as I take a walk down memory lane. With stars in my eyes and trepidation in my heart, I step out into the BIG BAD WORLD wanting to stare unblinkingly at the sun…. But I ask myself just one question – am I any different from the unsure, confused 5 year-old toddler that I was when I first entered Loreto?

Oh yes… I am 21 now!