Ma

I love you Ma. How do you explain your love for someone in three simple words. Without sounding melodramatic or neka, these words are really not enough but like the song goes "…words are all I have".

I am me, because of you and there are no two ways about that. I may be taller than you, but at heart, I am really a miniature of you, and I love that. I love it when people tell me I look like you, talk like you, have mannerisms like me. Nothing could be a bigger compliment. Like you, I'll always remain a child at heart.

Through the beginning of my teenage years, I never understood why girls would say their mothers are their best friends. To me it seemed impossible. But I feel stupid now. You really are my best friend. You understand things even without me saying them. There are things I can tell only you, because no one else will ever understand it. I talk so much more ever since I have come here, but there's no one I really "talk" to. Do you know what I mean?

Remember all those times I would be sitting and working at the computer, and I would call out to you to come look at something. I don't know why I couldn't contain the excitement. Anything that excites me even a little bit, I have to share it with you. I miss for simple reasons like this. But like Albert Einstein once said "In great simplicity lies great complexity." And yes, through all these simple reasons, simple moments, I realise how much I miss you.

I miss you.

When I read a nice poem, a nice quote, the only person I want to share it with, is you.

When I walk down the road and something reminds me of Cal, I think of you.

When I don't feel like having "boring dinner" but have it anyway because I know that I don't have a choice.

When I feel sick.

When I wake up in the morning and there's no one to pester me about "doodh".

When I go shopping alone and don't have anyone to tell me I'm looking nice even in the most ridiculous clothes.

When I get a compliment.

When I do well at uni/ work.

When I eat prawns.

When I come home and there's no one at home.

When I have so much to say, but no one to say it to.

When I use the nice "mota" pens here.

When I can't talk to you about something in detail because you can't imagine it. ( like my uni, or my house.)

When I eat food and I think about how much better you would have made it.

When..when…when…

This list really could go on forever couldn't it? I miss you everyday, for a brand new reason, and it would be impossible to list it all.

I don't know at what stage in life we started becoming closer, but thank God for it. What would I have done without you Mommy. You really are my biggest strength. Words are all I have, but they aren't enough. Some emotions are just to be felt I guess.

You always said na that you and I have a special bond. I couldn't agree with you more. It's a bond I can't explain to anyone, and no one but you and me can feel it.

Thank you Mumma. For everything. For always being there, for knowing when to be strict, when to be lenient and bringing me up to be a confident young woman who believes she can take on the world.